On April 6, 2010 I was kidnapped, taken from my special spot on a walking path, and driven more than two-hundred miles away. The man that took me used a drug (A form of the date-rape drug which can cause loss of consciousness, paralysis, and memory loss). This was a person I thought was my friend and when he gave me milk I accepted it without thought of the possibilities.
I will not speak of what I remember of that time. I am not yet mentally prepared to handle it. I was able to escape when he fell asleep one night and able to contact the police. I was given a medical exam and even given the morning after pill (a series of birth-control pills which makes the uterine lining unacceptable to a forming fetus, but which has not yet been proven to harm an already attached fetus).
I found out that I was pregnant two weeks ago. (Today is August 12). I decided after discussing the issue with my husband that I would not have an abortion, but things were taken out of my hands.
On Monday of this week they learned that the placenta had detached from the uterine wall and that the baby was in distress. The heart-rate had dropped and the did not believe the baby would make it.
I was given two options. The first option was to enter the hospital immediately and possibly be in the hospital for the remainder of my pregnancy. The second option was to have a D & E, the less common form of abortion after twelve weeks.
My husband and I again discussed the issue and discussed our options. I still have many hospital bills from the medical exam after the rape that I have as yet been unable to pay. The issue went over and over in our minds for the rest of the day. I have been pregnant seven times in two years and lost each baby, which was a part of the reason we decided to try keeping this one.
We decided Tuesday morning that it would be better for me as far as health risks if I were to have the D & E. The last time I had a miscarriage I hemorrhaged badly and we decided to avoid that at this time.
I am laying in bed recovering from the procedure now. I have not really faced any of the emotions from it yet, and I am not really ready to do that yet.
I just wanted to let other women know that there are instances when life takes unexpected turns, and that sometimes, even if you are very much against something, it is the right thing to do. How could I bring a child into this world knowing the medical issues she would face? How could I put my own life at risk for a child who probably would not make it?
These are questions that women who are severely against abortions should ask themselves before they judge others, as I will admit I have done in the past. It was my belief, then, that women simply used abortions as a form of birth-control.
Now, having waited with three other women who needed abortions this morning, and having heard their stories, and given them mine I am more willing to believe the greater need.
One of those poor girls was sixteen and had been raped by her uncle. One was eighteen and had lost her job, her home, and her family when she spoke of being pregnant. The third girl was my own age, 27, and her reason was the saddest. Her husband had told her if she had the baby he would leave her. She had been married to this man since the age of 18, and had had four children with him, and they were financially unable to care for another.
I want to apologize humbly for my former thoughts regarding women who have abortions, realizing now that there are many more valid reasons than I had believed, and that women are not having two, three, four abortions just because they do not want to use birth control.
So, that is my story. I hope that it helps, and I hope that any other woman put into the same position as myself make the decision based upon what is best for themselves and the life of the child and not as a result of pressure from others.
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Learn from Solene to listen and have empathy and understanding for the one in three women around you. One in three American women has an abortion in her lifetime.